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Monday, April 5, 2010

Adulthood

They always just say its hard.

How you wish you were still a little girl with next to no worries in comparison to the things you worry about now. With each stage of life comes a new set of worries, a new set of decisions. You make these decisions with a new set of players. You follow your heart, make decisions that are right for you.

Then you have kids, or one kid in my case. A whoops, an accident or as its been stated something that was my fault. And everything changes again. The thought of anything harming that child, of anything happening to that child, of anything coming between you and that child is unimaginable. The force is so strong that you are even willing to give up what you believe in the moment to be true happiness in order not take the chance of losing them. You have to stop following your heart, start thinking things through. Thinking not only of how it will affect you and your partner but most importantly your child. You have to weigh all the options and sometimes the option that you would have chosen in the past and even the option that your heart is set on is not the one you can choose. The players have changed and you no longer make the rules.

They always just say its hard, they never say how hard.