June Cleaver?... not I

 I started this to vent to let other mothers know that they are not alone. The more I talked to other mothers the more I realized that the things that I was most upset about and felt horrible about they were feeling as well. Just the fact that I wasn't living up to June Cleavers standard of motherhood and wifedom made me feel like I was failing. The fact that I had very few friends with kids (only one beat me by 7 months) I was left to find out alot of things on my own. My friend also helped calm many frantic phone calls almost always by just saying me too. So here I am writing to whomever feels like reading this to let you know me too!

Why is it that women are expected to live up to standards set by a time that is no longer relevant. Hell, June Cleaver wasn't even June Cleaver without some help (like script writers, hair and make-up artists, prop people). So why is it that society seems to expect us to continue on without hollywoods help. Even when I was staying at home I couldn't get everything done let alone now when I'm working 3-5 days a week. Why is it that dad's are praised for showing up and women are still expected to do everything else.

So here I am a self proclaimed 'anit-mom, or "bad" mother, or whatever you want to call me but I sure as hell am not June Cleaver (just ask my husband... lol). I do my best but refuse to feel bad if I don't clean the kitchen everynight, if I don't get all the laundry done, if I don't cook a proper dinner everynight. (KD anyone?)

So all "bad" mothers unite!!! Hold you heads up high and look society right in the eye and say F U!

They teach you too! Who knew?!

Learning from my child. Never for one second did I think I knew it all but I was pretty sure I had my shit together. Then I had a little boy. Not only did I realize fast that I knew NOTHING but I most defiantly did not have my shit together and what I did have together was blown apart. He has turned my life upside down, inside out and backwards. And I love it (most of the time).

I figured you had kids and you teach them how to be a better person than you are. Teach them morals and good values. Love, respect etc but I never thought about how much he would teach me. My monkey turns 1 year soon and in an amazingly short time he has not only taught me things about myself (like just how little sleep I need over an extended period of time), but he has taught me new ways to view the world. A tree is not a tree it is this amazing curiosity, grass, rocks, other people are all things to meet and explore. He also is making me a better person. My please and thank yous are through the roof! My swearing is down. Patience is at an all-time high (if it were a muscle I would be Hercules!). Hell, my husband even used the word frick today on the phone. I almost thought I misheard him.

This is a by-product of parenting I never expected, but will love and enjoy it while we stop at every rock, inspect the 10 millionth pine cone (deep breath) and wave at everyone around us.

No sleep for the blogger.

So here I am it's 12:34 am. I am so tired I can barley see but I can't seem to put away my computer.

My first blog. The pressure. What do I write about? Must have witty title. Fail 2 for 2. Oh well.

As I have stated this is my first blog ever. That's right people FIRST ONE EVER. I know where have I been? Welcome to the 21st century. I do feel though that my blog should come with a warning. Actually a few warnings. First my typing sucks. Funny for someone who spends a lot of time at a computer my typing is really bad and spell check does not always catch everything. So I apologize ahead for any errors. Not only does my spelling suck but so does my grammar, again apologies.

I am not overly funny, I really am not well written but, I am honest. I swear I can't lie. My mother still laughs at me to this day and loves telling stories of my pathetic lying attempts as a kid "she would go red and stutter". So I gave up, honesty is the best policy any ways I don't have the memory or energy to keep track of lies.

I decided to start this for 2 reasons. One was to see what the fuss was about. I will admit I'm having fun setting this all up. I like learning new things. Second was to give me an outlet to write about my days, a diary. I have never really kept one. I am more the sporadic writer, not always making sense (I once covered an airplane barf bag with just the words fuck you all over it, I was a little angry... can you swear on here? Guess I"ll find out). I'm not expecting anyone to read this or follow this but if you are and you do thanks! Nice seeing you.

Well I've rambled enough and really it is time for me to sleep. So I will sign off for the night and say welcome to my blog "the adventures of the non blogger".

Kim