Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Brazilian Experience

So I have now officially taken the 21st century right into womanhood, I got my first Brazilian. There is no word to describe this experience, ouch doesn't even come close. I would almost take childbirth over your first full de-fuzzing.

Lets start at the very beginning. I bought a discounted wax off one of those coupon sites months ago and its been sitting in my proverbial drawer since I bought it waiting for a time to pull it out and use it. Now several months later I figure why not now. I don't need a person or an event or anything. I can do it for myself. I'll admit that I've felt a little down for a bit now and need the pick me up of being de-fuzzed and looking my best. So I figured what the hell, here I go!

I booked my appointment along with an eyebrow threading. They confirm for 2 days later.

I show up early all excited for my de-fuzzing, to walk out of there confident and beautiful. In I go skip in my step "Hi I have a 430 appointment". She whisks me away takes maybe 5 minutes to thread my brows (small tears as I'm a huge wuss and my eyes always water) then a bathroom break and she whisks me into a small room. "Take off" and she points to my pants and she leaves the room. So I get ready, lie down on the spa table and wait. She comes back in looks at me confused and asks if I wanted the brazilian? (I have left my underwear on) she hands me a hand towel, haves me remove everything and then leaves the room bc she's doubled booked herself and has to help someone else. So there I am a hand towel covering my nether regions waiting with the door open to my room. DOOR OPEN, poor lady getting her pedicure is now getting a very bad show as well. Lol.

Then she comes back a couple of minutes later and efficiently (clincly?) starts. The first ones not too bad I've had bikini waxes before. Then comes the new stuff... WOWZERS!!! My god! I seriously considered saying, thank you very much and walking out of there. Holy shit! And the next one, again holy shit... walking out is looking pretty good. But I'm a woman, I've given birth, I can do this! So I sit still (as best as I can), my palms are sweating, I'm doing breathing exercises and I'm pretty sure my waxer thinks I'm a full on nut job. She finishes (or so I think) looks at me "ok turn over". WHAT?!? The look on my face said it all. "I'm sorry?" She looks at me and repeats "turn over". So I do. No one ever told me they do the front AND back. "don't worry this doesn't hurt as much". Either way there is a wax stick entering places I never expected one to go and hair being ripped from places I never imagined. I have never felt so violated, and worst of all I signed up for this and paid for it! Wow.

20 min later and she's finished, I'm sticky and sore. She walks out (closes the door this time) and I get re-dressed. I pay for everything and walk out. Not with the confident hairless walk I was expecting but more like a hobbling shell-shocked little girl whimpering her way to her car.

Now over 24 hours later I'm still sore, tender I may even be slightly bruised. However, all said and done I'd do it again and I now believe it is an experience that every woman should do. Just make sure you're is doing it for yourself not for anyone else.

So go on ladies, get de-fuzzed, it's the true right of passage into womanhood. :)


Cari said...

Go girl!

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