Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The return of the ex's

So I have a big ex and it's not my ex-husband. I have an ex-boyfriend (well more than one, but i'm talking about only one so far). We've played this little breakup/back together game for 12 years. The last breakup was many many years ago (before I  met my husband). yet we seem to always come back to each other. We've been talking lately. We started chatting when things went seriously south with my friend. My ex knows me better than anyone I've met. I'm comfortable with him. It's nice. We've been talking, he's even visited a couple times (he lives out of town). Now I'm worried I'm getting involved. He's away working on site as a medic/cook and comes back next week. Just in time to take me for my birthday. I thought I had it all under control that I was being "cool as a cucumber". Until today, today he sent me a message that he was going to call and we would talk. I'm sitting there getting my hair done and all that goes through my head is "I'm getting dumped by a guy I'm not even dating... again (my friend kinda same thing)". Whoops. I think my cucumber just wilted. Cool my ass.

So question is, do I continue down a road with a guy where it didn't work any of the other multiple times we've tried in the past, hoping it would be better, or do I cut ties and run the other way as fast as possible before it blows up in my face atomic bomb style?

PS- remember when I said I have a type... the narcissistic sociopath, well he started that trend. He's had a lot happen in the last few years that have caused him to grow up, but do people really change?

Getting Jiggy with It

I came across this and had to share it. Two of my favorite things combined... its like Slurpee's and nacho chips...mmmm

who did it 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Random Tuesday Thought

That's right a random Tuesday thought... will this become a regular thing? Not likely as I'm not good at regular things I find as soon as something becomes expected I no longer enjoy it but for this Tuesday anyways I have a random thought.

I once was told that the things we dislike in other people are the traits we dislike in ourselves. I've been thinking (which usually mean trouble as I tend to over-analyze things slightly on occasion). Why is it that I can forgive an  an old flame who did nothing but cheat on me and together we caused each other nothing but grief for 7 years, yet someone who I was involved with for only a few months I cannot stand and the thought of him, he makes me super angry. I don't want to say hate because I don't use that word but I strongly dislike.

So my random thought is do you think its true? That the things we dislike in others are the traits we dislike in ourselves?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

What doesn't kill you...

I write this in appreciation of one of the toughest gals I know. My mom.

Yesterday was a big day. It was my moms final chemo treatment. In 3 weeks we are hopefully throwing a no more chemo party (once she is all rested and feeling better). Last November, on top of my separation hitting a rather nasty bump, the manfriend of the moment falling off the face of the planet and my companies revenues basically going down the toilet my mother was diagnosed with the big c. Breast Cancer. It was not a good day, week, month or few months in my family. It was tough.

Now 2 surgeries, 6 chemo treatments and 8 months later we are on to the next step radiation. Yay!!!!

Mom, you are amazing and I told you if living with dad for 35 years hasn't killed you, nothing will.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Other-side of Divorce

So 2 days ago it happened. My one year is up. I have been separated for a year and we can now finally apply for divorce (though we need to get our separation/custody agreement finished first). Its weird. Weird how fast the time went by, and how different I am from this time last year.

Funny thing is different isn't really the right word. I'm more me than I have been in years. I've gone back to doing the things I liked before I got married. The things I let slide. Apparently it took losing myself in someone else to really discover who I was. I like who I am.

My newest adventure is I have become a home consultant for a little Canadian company. What do I sell you ask? Oh I know it's killing you. Avon? Nope. Mary-Kay? Nope.

Hanky Panky. That's right I am now a consultant for an adult toy company. And am super excited about it. My girl friends as I used to host these every few months when we were younger. They were always such fun. We always had the same girl from the same company come out and she was hilarious. What a great fun way to do a girls night. So one day after going to a friends jewelry party I was trying to think of a way to get a little extra cash and I thought of this.

I have my first party this weekend. I'm super excited. Wish me luck!

(anyone who lives in Vancouver or surrounding area and would love to have a party let me know. They have to be experienced at least once, I guarantee you'll spend the night laughing your ass off)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

and next a new bag

Ok disclaimer for this one. I needed a spring bag... actually I needed a bag period. Had some old fabric left around the house so decided to design and make one. The fabric is a little bright for me but it holds my shit which is better than pockets stuffed full. As with most things its not even close to what I envisioned bc I had to fix some mistakes. But, as usual I learned alot and the next one will have less mistakes and look more like I envisioned. Its a learning process people. :)

And my son. The best helper ever. here is a picture of my house (that was clean when we started) after "we" made the bag. 

I can't remember how he ended up naked, he tends to take his clothes off. Lol.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The oversized lunchbag

Since I talked about it figured I'd post it. I tried making matching pants but my pattern sizing was a little off... they were a little tight.

So here's the lunch bag for my 2 1/2 yr old that will likely hold enough food for a family of 4.

Yes it covers a portion of my stove. I stated earlier I'm not so good with the pattern sizes. I'm learning... slowly.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Have Some Class Vancouver

Ok I have to rant. I live in Vancouver. I am proud to live in Vancouver. Its a beautiful city. Today I am ashamed. For those of you who don't know why I'll explain.

Today was Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Vancouver vs. Boston. Vancouver lost. I've seen better games and I have to say it tonight the better team won. Congrats Boston and Timmy you guys deserve it. Canucks re-group and we will get 'em next year.

That's my piece on the game, the fans in Rogers arena you make me proud to be in Vancouver. Cheering your team until the end even with a 4-0 loss. Standing O for Timmy (Bostons goalie) when he gets his trophy. You guys are awesome and in my opinion have shown what a sports fan should be.

To the small group of fuckers (there is no other word) who are using this loss as an excuse to rip apart our wonderful city and to give the world such a great opinion of us by flipping cars, breaking windows, rioting and setting fires, get a life. You make me ashamed, sad, angry. You are the definition of fucker. You are there not to support your team, you're not angry about a bad call, an unfair loss (not that I'm condoning that as an excuse either). You are there to flip cars, stare down the police, be a general asshole.

It's sad that we can't learn from our history, that a new generation feels the need to make the same mistakes (we had the same situation in 1994). Its sad that the reputation we built during the Olympics has now been tarnished bc a couple hundred assholes have decided to live out their anarchists dream. I hope you get caught, you deserve what you have coming.

To the police, fire and everyone doing their best to calm the situation I tip my hat and raise my glass. You have my respect and my support.

Sorry for my poorly written rant, but seriously Vancouver have some fucking class.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ms. Productive

So remember the post where I started everything but couldn't finish anything. Well I finished a few things and even added some stuff to my list (but seriously though does it ever end).

First off I finally finished my slippers... my first attempt. We are now calling them socks as thats what they ended up looking like. But I learned alot. My curtains are finished as well as a couple matching pillows out of the left over fabric and some old pillows that had perished (lost their "fluff). Even made the worlds largest lunch bag for my mr. man to take to daycare. I mean this baby is overnight bag size (I over estimated, oh well he can use it forever now.. it'll fit a 16 year olds lunch and seriously he's taking it to school forever... mom made it, and he will always cherish anything I've made him... right?).

Anyways first are my sock/slippers. Next time different colours and a few adjustments but at least I finished something!

Yes I am a super dork!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Sew-igasim

Sorry for anyone I've offended with my new phrase but I swear I had one the other day. Let me explain.

My old sewing machine crapped out. It was cheap but still I've only had it for 3 years. I was kinda "upset" especially since I had just finished cutting and pinning a whole pile of clothes to take in and the such. Finally I get the time to ask how much it'll cost to get fixed... $150.00!!! Minimum. What?!? I don't think I even spent $150.00 on the machine.

So now I'm in a pickle. Do I really sew enough to warrant getting a good machine or do I just buy another cheapo and cross my fingers. I'm talking to my friends we're weighing the pros and cons, finally I call the one, the only, the lady who knows it all, mom.

She says suck it up buy the good machine. So I do.

Monkey and I go off to the dealer and look at different models, makes, ask questions (yes it is like buying a car). We decide on one, swipe goes the visa (ug...) and home we go. He "helps" me set it up.. oh I'm so excited now. I run to grab some scrap material, I'm giggling now. My son is looking at me like I'm nuts. I thread the machine plug it in, place my foot on the pedal... vroom!!! OMG!!! Yes, sew-gasim. So quiet, so smooth. so amazing (yes I know it sounds like a car). I never knew sewing could be this great!

I'm now plowing through projects, not worried that I'm going to wake monkey up while he's napping from the noise. In retrospect I'm glad I had a beater and clunker to start because it has sure made me appreciate this little SUV I've now obtained.

Moral of the story, yes buy the cheaper to start if you're learning but upgrade once you can and wow!!! You'll never look back.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Hello World I"m back.. well today

Hey folks,

Just a little note that say I'm still alive and kicking. Well mostly (other than the sniffles). I've been super busy finally moving into my place (i've only been here since August... I'm slow). I've finally sifted through all the stuff I threw into closest (holy crap... how I have so much shit is beyond me) and organized (to the best of my unorganized abilities) and even put up some pictures! Wow! It's like me and my munchkin actually live here now.

I was hoping to be able to put up some pictures of my various attempts at being crafty but no such luck as everything is 1/2 done (and I'm being generous). I finally got the curtains all ready to go for my son's room (they've been sitting on my sewing table for 2 months) only to discover that my sewing machine has crapped out, munchkin and I painted canvases to get things to put up in the kitchen only to find out the I bought the wrong size canvas. I even managed to bungle up the slippers I was making. People I'm on a roll.

One day many moons from now I will hopefully finish them all. One day... until then its imaginary online shopping (ohh shoes..... I've found more! Even bought some... shit I have to go pick them up any idea how long post offices will hold things for? Lets hope more than a month... oops) Like I said roll people! I'm on a roll!

But all in all I'm enjoying everything. Even my soon-to-be-ex is being, dare I say, nice. (jinx?)

Yay! Go me. Anyways like I said just rambling to say I'm still alive and kicking. Kicking big and kicking hard! And loving every minute!

Peace out peeps! (ha ha I'm hilarious!)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


I love the comma, it has all sorts of great uses. I'm sure I use it wrong all the time to create the worlds longest sentences, separated with multiple commas.

I've realized with all this writing (I'm still not used to the word blog, or blogging) just how much I use the comma. Now I know I am the furthest thing from an English major but I try, a little.

I'm sure that everyone has their favourite punctuation mark. The exclamation mark is fun, it gets it point across! and the question mark, well he's a curious little devil. But the comma, he's quiet, he's reserved, he sits there hanging onto the bottom of the line. Reminding you to pause, take a breath and enjoy the rest of your sentence.

That's all. Just wanted to pay my respect to the comma.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Everyones got a type, right?

So here's a random dating question.

What would you say is your type?

I used to think mine was the skateboarding, rough around the edges, blue collar worker. Now I have realized that it is alot more complex than that. I have realized that I date the same guy over and over. After analyzing (something I've been doing ALOT of) I've realized that my "type" per-say (I'm basing this on the people I have fallen head over heals in love with not everyone I've dated) is the narcissistic, sociopath who needs saving and likely has daddy issues. Throw in a past drug problem and/or an illegitimate child or two and I'm yours baby! You'd think that this applies to one of my ex's but in reality it applies to all of them. ALL OF THEM! Geesh.

Hmm... wonder what that says about me? I'm going to say that opposites attract, not like attracts like (ie I'm a mess so I attract a mess).

Time to change people! Yay!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Waving Good-bye to the Baby

I have the coolest little man. This is not an expression of love, not a mother making a statement.

This is fact!

I have a 2 1/2 year old monkey. He is beyond awesome. So awesome in fact that he potty trained himself. People ask me how I did it, my reply is simple, by accident.

One day we had an early bath, I didn't bother putting a diaper back on him. Let him run around naked, be free little one! He grabbed his potty that has been sitting in the bathroom for 8 months, brought it out to the living room and pee'd in it. After huge high fives, and a whole lot of dancing around the house I figured it was a one off. No pressure, I wasn't worried everyone tells me boys normally are trained around 3 or 4. I figure, it's laminate, if he pees on the floor I'll just clean it up, so, I left his diaper off and again he stops mid play and runs to the potty. Then he went to his dad's for a few days. Dad says same thing. No more diapers. We are officially potty trained. (well mostly, there are still accidents but hell I can barely sneeze without peeing a little and I've been house broken for years)

Now this is only one example. I could go on and on. I was really sick with the flu the other day, while my head was hanging in the toilet trying not to die, waiting for my inlaws to pick up my son, he was bringing me carrots and juice from the fridge, rubbing my back telling me to eat it'll make me feel better. He says please and thank you for everything, always asks before he takes or does anything.

He's a little man. I have no idea when he changed but my baby is long gone. Now I have a little house broken man.

I couldn't be prouder, and more terrified of how fast time goes by.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Random... few of my favourite things

So I had one of those days. One where you get up in the morning and before you've even thought about coffee somethings gone wrong. Today some of my lighter moments where smashing my finger, dropping my phone, stabbing myself in the gum with a fork (apparently I was over excited to eat my poutine... mmm gravy), oh 3 hours trying to get my phone switched to a bb, and there's more, that's just the fun stuff.

Funny part is I couldn't stop laughing all day. I love those days! When everything goes to shit and all you can do is laugh, and laugh and laugh. The cell phone help people thought I was nuts! Finishing up my first hour on the phone with them I was almost in tears just laughing so hard.

It got me thinking about why everything was so funny. It was a cold, rainy, shitty day, so it wasn't the weather. I did not win a free coffee (but i did win the chance to play again) nor did anything go right for most of the day. Then when something else happened I noticed, there it was. A fleeting thought of one of my favourite things and I'd smile, then laugh.

So here is the beginning of my list. My list of favorite things... its not going to be a small list because I like most things. And I'll likely add to it so I can always remember, feel free to add your own.

- the smell of a spring rain
- the smell of snow
- snow
- my sons laugh, his "that's funny laugh" and his full on deep belly giggles
- almost everything my son does
- the curious george band aid i put on my broken phone
- silly walks
- silly runs (like fibi from friends)
- when you let someone in while driving and they wave
- simple kindnesses
- discovering someone, i mean when you first meet someone and you learn about them, who they are     what makes them tick etc
- the beach on a stormy day
- dandelions (my favorite flower)
- when my son uses my phrases against me... no mommy you can't talk to me that way
- impromptu road trips
- a shower after a long dirty day
- chatting with strangers, but like the joking around lots of laughs with the clerk at the store etc.
- getting a true smile from anyone
- the fact that spell check thinks I spelled poutine wrong lol.

Oh now I'm thinking so hard about it all my happy thoughts have run and hid. Lol. I'll add more later. Hope it reminds you guys of your happy thoughts and makes you smile!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


No matter where you are this sound makes your heart stop, stomache curl, the "oh shit" pops into your head and sometimes you're scared to look.

Here was todays "thud" moment

My only phone. I have no house phone, no office phone. Its is litterally my lifeline for my job and personal life. Oops. Fell out of my pocket and landed face flat on the floor... thud.

I will admit, its a rather impressive smash. This one gone for "trips" before, across rooms, gliding gracefully across many a tile floor, hell my last phone went for a swim. All in all I've been impressed with the durability of my iPhone. However the one thing it doesn't survive apparently is a direct drop onto the floor... thud. I picked the sucker up inspected, its still works so in true genius fashion fixed it!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

For Rent...

For rent by the hour

One two and a half year old toddler
Dont be fooled by his tiny size
Eats like a 16 year old
Talks sometimes like a 16 year old (today from the back of my car comes a little voice "Mommy, are those cars pissing you off?")
Is house trained like a drunken 16 year old (sometimes we make it, sometimes we don't)

(I say rent bc I am slightly attached to the monkey and don't want to see him go permanently... just would like to clean the house without a mess being made in the room i just cleaned and possibly have a glass of wine in peace before 10 pm)

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Date? What date?

So I was supposed to have a date. My first date with a stranger since I met my almost-ex years ago. I promised a story, and I was looking forward to a story but I have none. Why you ask? Because it never happened. Lol

Here's the long, short version of it. Maybe someone can tell me if this is normal and if this is what I should expect. Lol

First the day before I sent a text confirming (I'm type A I confirm, deal with it :)). Basically 10 hours later he gets back to me, "Ya sure, what time we'd say again? 7pm?". Wow can this guy contain his excitement anymore! I replied we said 4:30 as per his request, we agree to move it to 7. Done, and off to bed I go.

I wake up in the morning and start taking bets. The day is divided into 2 hours windows until 4pm and they can bet when he will cancel. We hit 3:45, ding! I have a text. He's asking to postpone till the next day, cause he has to work till 7. I can't stop laughing. I say no, text me when you're done work and if I'm up for it we can meet then. When he does finally text (almost 8:30) I'm on my way to meet friends. He's willing to wait up, I say its fine and we resched for the next day. Same time, same place. Done, and off to bed I go.

Get up in the am and don't feel the need to take any bets (which I won by the way). Cause seriously this would be the third time he'd cancel and no-one can be that flaky. Ha, ha. I'm funny. Day goes by without a hitch. 3:30 pm Bing! I have a text. He's just been called for a job gotta go can we meet up later when he's done. I ask him to "define later". His reply 12ish, maybe later. Huh?!? What? Doesn't he know that its a "school" night. Who meets for a drink at midnight?

Bing! Light bulb! He's not thinking drinks, did I seriously just get booty called by someone who hasn't even met me? Now I can't stop laughing! The tears are flowing! On one hand, flattering on the other wft! I reply with no, obviously it wasn't meant to be and good luck with everything. Done, and home I go.

Needless to say, I have heard nothing more.

So that is one of the Internet guys down. Lets see if the other one is any better, seriously I only think we can go up from here. But, who knows I've been surprised before. Lol

I'm really glad I closed my account before I accepted more dates than these two. Lol.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Impulsive or Genius?

I can be a rather impulsive person on occasion. I can also agonize about things as well. Really it depends on my mood, the alignment of planets, the tides and maybe what I had for lunch.

In November, in what I thought was the muck of my life (ha, ha says fate you were wrong). I got a tattoo.

Now I've always wanted one but just been to chicken to get one. So that day I was attending meetings off site and close to my house. My meetings finished early. However, it was useless to go to the office because I'd have to leave pretty quick after I arrived to go pick up my son at my in laws. However, I was way too early to pick him up from my in laws so I had a couple hours to kill. I started to wonder. I wondered my ass right into a tattoo parlor. Asked about a phrase that had popped onto my head a few days earlier. Guy told me it'd be $80.00." Thank you very much I'll call you"

Apparently by "calling you" I meant walk out the door, turn around, and walk back in and get it done. Poor guy spent 45 minutes with me trying to figure out a font for my 3 words. 45 MIN! He copies it onto the transfer paper and is just about to put it on my wrist when.. "STOP!! Wait, can we use this instead?" I can only imagine what's going through this guys head as I hand him the original piece of paper that I used to write out my 3 words on almost an hour ago.

He was wonderful and amazing and used my words in my writing and took less that 10 minutes to tattoo my phrase on my wrist.

So I ask, impulsive? Yes. But also genius... my gut knew what I needed that day and I'll tell you I have no regrets. My inner left wrist is a constant reminder of things I lost once and will hold on to for the rest of my life as hard as possible. Also the phrase is what I want my son to know me as, to live life as, to strive to always achieve.

Now I have one, I realized not only did I get it to remind myself never to lose those things again, but also  to regain myself. I gave up alot over the last few years of who I was and I'm slowly getting it back. I just put all my earrings back in and also put my tongue stud back too (my soon-to-be-ex hated my piercings and never returned my jewelry after labour). These things are superficial but they were part of who I was for years prior to my relationship. It's fun rediscovering yourself.

What are my 3 words, the 3 words that I hold so close to me that they are now tattoo over a major artery.

Thank you pottery barn :)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

They're back!!

So before I met and married my almost-ex I had 4 holes in each ear, a belly button ring and a tongue stud.

My fav was the tongue stud. I got it when i was 19, it was really the first thing I truly did for myself, not caring what anyone thought. Especially my parents. Yes, it was my little rebellion.

I had that baby for 10 years. Then at 29 I gave birth. Going into the hospital I had to take out all my jewellery including my stud. I handed them to my husband expecting them to be returned post delivery. Silly me, thinking he would actually do it. See he hated my piercings. So 4 days later when I was coming out of my post delivery, new baby, no sleep daze I remember. He never gave me back my stud! By now it was too late as it had already grown in, so I ask him why he didn't give me back my jewelry. "I was hoping you'd forget about them". So I lost my favorite piercing, something that I was proud of, that was a part of me simply because my ex didn't like it, looking back it was not his decision to make. I have always missed it. Two years later I still go to play with the ghost of the stud, always disappointed that its not there.

Sat night I decided, screw it. Who cares if I'm 31, a mom, wear a suit to work (all reasons my ex had put into my head). I'm getting it back. So I packed up my son, called my friend and off the 3 of us went at 6 pm to get mommy some new jewelry. We went to the only place I could think of close to my house. My friend waits outside with my son because I don't know how I feel about taking him into a tattoo parlor. They were about to close but he still agreed to do it for me :) Yay! I'm a little excited now. My friend was going to take my son for a walk but he has to go pee so inside the store I take him. What a wonderful bunch of guys! They all say hi, pay attention to him, and even get him paper and pencils so he can sit up and draw at the desk with one of the artists just like he was! It was awesome.

Now it's my turn. Have I mentioned I hate needles, yes I know then why the hell am I doing this, again? Well because it was a part of me,  a part I didn't make the choice to give up. So here I am lying on the table as this guy is about to stick a needle and barbell through my tongue. I start to hum (I always hum when I'm nervous or when needles are involved, I hummed the entire time I got my tattoo too). He giggles at me then "whoop" all done! That's it, 30 seconds later and we're finished. I go out front and my son and friend are sitting playing with random Lego men and things the guys could find for him. He's in heaven!

Now here I am happy and feeling more like myself than I have in years. It's really funny how something so small and insignificant seems to be tied into my finally feeling a little more like me and less like the wife I had become.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Date?

So I have a date, actually maybe two.

Turns out internet dating wasn't quite ready to let me go. I talked to a total of 4 people that I didn't already know. Three of them asked me out. One is never going to happen, the other cancelled last minute and the third well that ones still up in the air. I go to close my account and one guy asked me out basically the same day, my friends have convinced me to get the hell out of my house and get some adult time on one of the two nights my son is with his dad. So I figure why not break every rule I have and send this guy my number while telling him that I'm cancelling my account. Almost the next day a guy I was supposed to meet with a few weeks back emails me (we hadn't gotten to the phone number exchange part... I'm slow). We chatted abit on MSN and now we're meeting for a drink (well dinner bc I'll be starving and seriously who doesn't eat.... mmm food).

Here's my thing, or things plural because there are more than one. I'm only going to get out, maybe have some interesting conversation, do something other than crochet (yes I crochet... I'll post some goodies eventually) and work when I don't have the monkey. Problem is I haven't been on a date with a stranger in a very long time, 4 maybe 5 years. Is it like riding a bike? Or will I be rusty and need some WD40 (wait maybe that's why you just drink no food it's like dating WD40... grease the wheels). I'm not scared of it being horrible, or me making a fool of myself (I do that basically daily anyways) I can't deiced if I'm more scared of going out, having fun and not missing my friend (because it means I'm past what was/could have been great) or going out and turning into a total wreck because I'll miss him more. Kinda feel like it could go either way, flip a coin woman and decide!

Guess we'll find out. To be honest I have a feeling the first guy will be a story either way, he seems to just have a story worthy personality. lol. But, hell what isn't a story in my life.

Friday, March 25, 2011

The shoe update, as promised

Shoes. I love shoes, especially heels!!!

I love my heels, don't get me wrong I love my red Chuck Taylors just as much but a great unique pair of heels you can't beat!

Again from there is a brand called Iron Fist. I can't even pick. Now Iron Fist is not the only brand they carry. These are just one of my favs, the ones I"m possibly planning on purchasing next but there are many more great styles!

And they GLOW!!! (not my legs unfortunatly)

Check em out, and as usual I love suggestions if you know of any other shoes I should check out!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Internet Dating... a follow up

So previously I mentioned how internet dating and I are not friends. I thought this required a follow-up.

For all of you who are wondering, we are still not friends. So much so that I requested to terminate our relationship. I figured it would be best for both of us if we went our separate ways. He was upset (because I now refer to the entire website as an him), and I know it's because I'm so awesome! But I wasn't doing either of us any favors. I wasn't interested in anyone he brought me, anyone he paraded across my computer screen. I rarely replied to messages. At one point I told a guy I'm much better in person, I grow on people to which he compared me to herpes! HERPES!

It seemed if I wasn't desperately searching for a life partner or for a one night stand then it wasn't for me. Don't get me wrong there are a tonne of nice people on there, normal people and I know a few people who have met wonderful people on dating sites. However right now it's not my cup of tea and I don't have the patience or the time to wade through to find my right one.

So we sat down and I told him "it's not you, it's me". He cried, there was a little tear. I told him I may be back but not to wait for me. I'm going to sit the next little while out. Date myself for a while.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Eat Pray Love

Ok so here is the first book I've completed in the last while (other than the twilight series... no judgement please. lol)

I have now read the book and watched the movie. The movie is a good watch though don't expect anything profound, it's your regular hollywood entertainment.

The book however is another story. It took me forever to get through because she rambles... ALOT. That being said though she makes some very valid points. So much so that I ripped two pages out to carry with me.. TWO whole pages. And for me this is a huge deal. A little part of me cried as I tore out page one, I will mark up my books, write notes in them, but never, NEVER rip one out. If a cover gets torn I get upset and here I am ripping actual pages out.

Over all I highly recommend the book for anyone going through a breakup or divorce but I strongly believe that everyone will take different things out of it. Be forewarned though if you are not into great detailed explanation of the history of places or things be prepared to skim a lot of the book. But buried in all the detail and description are some great insights. I personally walked away with a new perspective on a soul mate as well as kind of a definition of how I perceive my partners.

For those of you that have read the book (not the movie because I personally didn't receive anything from the movie) I'd be interested in knowing what you got out of it, as well any suggestions on what I should read next?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Murphys Law and...

Murphy and Fate, the great wish granter, like to play games with me.

So much so that it's become almost comical, my life that is.

One day I wished to run into my friend just to see him, see how he's doing. That day we ran into each other 5 times, at least. You could say that fate listened and said "here you go baby". Not what I was hoping for, once maybe twice, just a quick walk by. But Fate did grant my wish, in full force just not in the way I wanted. It's like when I buy a lottery ticket, Fate grants my wish, I won a free ticket! Not exactly what I was hoping for (50 million would have been a little more help).

Murphy steps in when Fate is on vacation. After seeing him 5 times I need a breather. So Murphy steps in and decides that I now have to retrain most of my staff one by one at a location that is right beside where he is working. This wouldn't seem to be such a big deal except that this location requires security clearance and the only reason myself or my staff are there are to get to this room specifically. This week of all weeks (one of the only 2 he is working in that area) I find out that no one is checking this room and they need to be retrained immediately. Meaning one by one I have to parade my staff right by his site to the room almost directly beside it. Could I have put it off for a week? Possibly but there are so many projects on the go I need to do things as they come up or they never get done.

So is it just me? Do Fate and Murphy have it out for me or does this happen to everyone?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Search for the Impossible, New Clothes!

So I'm on a hunt for great clothes and even better shoes. With all the options out there it should be a simple task right?


My taste in clothing and shoes has always been slightly different. Not bad just different, ever so slightly (ha, ha I'm hilarious!). I used to have some great pieces and a wonderful collection of shoes. However, during the last few years it's dwindled. Now I'm left with very little and I'm hoping to expand my wardrobe.

I'm slowly finding bits and pieces here and there and I just have to share one website, specifically two brands from the site that I am now obsessed with! Heartbreaker (a dress of theirs is pictured) and Iron Fist shoes (to be posted later). These are not the only things I love from this site but they are for sure at the top of my purchase list!

The site is absolutely amazing!!!

My new dress... no it's not me in the picture.

Check it out!!! If you have any other suggestions to look for new clothes I'd love to hear them!!! I love finding new stuff!!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

A Letter for...

Dear Friend,

Go fuck yourself. You couldn't have hurt me more if you tried.



Thursday, February 3, 2011

The Brazilian Experience

So I have now officially taken the 21st century right into womanhood, I got my first Brazilian. There is no word to describe this experience, ouch doesn't even come close. I would almost take childbirth over your first full de-fuzzing.

Lets start at the very beginning. I bought a discounted wax off one of those coupon sites months ago and its been sitting in my proverbial drawer since I bought it waiting for a time to pull it out and use it. Now several months later I figure why not now. I don't need a person or an event or anything. I can do it for myself. I'll admit that I've felt a little down for a bit now and need the pick me up of being de-fuzzed and looking my best. So I figured what the hell, here I go!

I booked my appointment along with an eyebrow threading. They confirm for 2 days later.

I show up early all excited for my de-fuzzing, to walk out of there confident and beautiful. In I go skip in my step "Hi I have a 430 appointment". She whisks me away takes maybe 5 minutes to thread my brows (small tears as I'm a huge wuss and my eyes always water) then a bathroom break and she whisks me into a small room. "Take off" and she points to my pants and she leaves the room. So I get ready, lie down on the spa table and wait. She comes back in looks at me confused and asks if I wanted the brazilian? (I have left my underwear on) she hands me a hand towel, haves me remove everything and then leaves the room bc she's doubled booked herself and has to help someone else. So there I am a hand towel covering my nether regions waiting with the door open to my room. DOOR OPEN, poor lady getting her pedicure is now getting a very bad show as well. Lol.

Then she comes back a couple of minutes later and efficiently (clincly?) starts. The first ones not too bad I've had bikini waxes before. Then comes the new stuff... WOWZERS!!! My god! I seriously considered saying, thank you very much and walking out of there. Holy shit! And the next one, again holy shit... walking out is looking pretty good. But I'm a woman, I've given birth, I can do this! So I sit still (as best as I can), my palms are sweating, I'm doing breathing exercises and I'm pretty sure my waxer thinks I'm a full on nut job. She finishes (or so I think) looks at me "ok turn over". WHAT?!? The look on my face said it all. "I'm sorry?" She looks at me and repeats "turn over". So I do. No one ever told me they do the front AND back. "don't worry this doesn't hurt as much". Either way there is a wax stick entering places I never expected one to go and hair being ripped from places I never imagined. I have never felt so violated, and worst of all I signed up for this and paid for it! Wow.

20 min later and she's finished, I'm sticky and sore. She walks out (closes the door this time) and I get re-dressed. I pay for everything and walk out. Not with the confident hairless walk I was expecting but more like a hobbling shell-shocked little girl whimpering her way to her car.

Now over 24 hours later I'm still sore, tender I may even be slightly bruised. However, all said and done I'd do it again and I now believe it is an experience that every woman should do. Just make sure you're is doing it for yourself not for anyone else.

So go on ladies, get de-fuzzed, it's the true right of passage into womanhood. :)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Internet Dating and I are not friends

So I joined an internet dating site. More out of boredom than anything. I don't want to date, I don't even want to meet anyone but when my son is sleeping it would be nice to chat with some adults. So upon the advice of friends I joined a dating site.

For those of you who have never been on one it's like shopping for men. You pick your age, location and click on pictures to read their resumes. For me it's like a social experiment, some sarcastic remark comes to mind with about 99% of the pic I see. I've even thought about putting up a set of rules for people who can talk to me:

1) if you are over 40 don't bother

2) if any of your pics contain the following: wife beater, no shirt, you flexing your muscles (or lack thereof) again don't bother

3) if you try to come across as deep and insightful and say you're funny don't bother (everyone thinks they're funny in their own way)

My sarcasm or wit as I like to refer to it seems to just offend people (not that I've talked to many).

It has taught me a couple of things though. That I am a face to face girl. My personality does not come across through a couple meaningless emails, you need to hear my tone, see my expressions to really understand what I'm saying, to get me. That and just how much I miss my friend.