Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Identity Crisis

Here I am. In the middle of a professional identity crisis. My current paying job is great. I run my families business with almost no boundaries. Just the occasional check in with my dad (the true owner). I enjoy my job. However it is not in a industry that I love. Actually it's not even an industry I like. But, I love my job. I love the freedom. The hours, the pay, the challenge. However, I have found that since my monkey made his entrance into my world I have been losing my focus. Then I started a home based business that I love. That I am proud of but that I do not have the finances or time to expand or even really develop.

My question is what do I do? I mean I guess I know what I have to do. Family comes first in every way. Meaning that I have to keep working, not only to satisfy my dad but to keep my own family unit going. With an 11 month old at home and the hope of one day buying a house this is not the time to start my own business. I admire my dad as he took a chance with more on the line than I have. He quit a high paying job to start his own business(s), he worked hard (understatement) and now it's my turn.

Ah one day. One day maybe we will be in a place where I can truly push my love. Where I can develop my product line.

I think that is it. I am torn between who I am and who I want to be. I think I will have to stay with who I am and put who I want to be on the back burner for awhile. It can simmer away and I can make contacts that maybe one day will help me but I have to re-focus on my current company. I have let the bar slip down and I need to catch it before it falls.

Tomorrow is back to work for me, full boar. Get things going!

Decision made, crisis over.


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